Erenlai - Identity and Self-Realization 認同感與自我實現
Identity and Self-Realization 認同感與自我實現

Identity and Self-Realization 認同感與自我實現

 

 

Where do I come from? Where do I go?... These contributions offer tools to explore the complexities of identity, overcome contradictions and recognize one’s true self.

你的文化認同感很薄弱嗎?這裡的文章帶領你探索認同感的建立、矛盾的根源與自我意義的覺察。

 

 

Wednesday, 21 July 2010

Levinas à Taiwan.

Soudain, je me suis retrouvé dans un paysage de montagnes, le ciel bas, les nuages flottant sur les sommets pour l’heure invisibles. J’allais commencer un enseignement consacré à Emmanuel Levinas dont l’œuvre ne cesse de rayonner aux quatre coins du monde. J’étais étonné depuis plusieurs semaines, ayant reçu une invitation à venir de l’autre côté de la terre faire découvrir cette pensée qui continue à m’intriguer par sa force et sa faiblesse.

Ayant à mes côtés un traducteur qui est devenu au fil des jours un ami, j’ai commencé à parler, à présenter, à expliquer. Les visages étaient attentifs, les corps silencieux pliés sur les feuilles, cahiers et écrans qui se remplissaient de signes qui m’émerveillaient : mes mots transcrits en caractères chinois à très grande vitesse !

Apprivoisement mutuel, régulation de mon débit, attente patiente de la traduction, écoute du silence qui régnait en ce lieu, puis premières questions. Il m’est arrivé d’enseigner Levinas à des auditoires multiples au fil des années, jamais je n’avais eu des questions aussi pertinentes dès la première séance. Les étudiants allaient droit au cœur des difficultés, non pour les pointer et faire les scribes intelligents mais bien pour tenter de comprendre un peu mieux cet auteur qui les attire et dont la pensée est difficile.

Qu’est-ce qui les attire en cette pensée si particulière, née dans une culture si différente ? J’ai perçu que l’effort fait par Levinas pour penser l’altérité les fascine et les surprend. Est-il vrai que l’altérité est d’abord et avant tout celle de l’autre homme ? N’y a-t-il pas aussi l’altérité du monde ? L’altérité de l’animal ? Comment comprendre cette pensée de l’altérité lorsque la structure familiale est si importante et déterminante pour se comprendre et se situer dans la société ?

La lecture partielle de la première grande œuvre Totalité et Infini a permis de comprendre comment Levinas traite ces questions et justifie ses choix. Une pensée de l’éthique si radicale interroge des êtres nés dans le bouddhisme ou le confucianisme et apparut peu à peu une question propre à toute société aujourd’hui : Qu’est-ce que le bien commun ? Comment vivre les uns avec les autres ? Qu’est-ce qui fait loi dans ce que Levinas appelle « l’entre-nous » ?

Il y avait quelque chose d’étrange dans cet échange au fil des jours : une pensée très occidentale, pétrie au creuset grec et juif, touchait des jeunes chinois dans leur être propre et leur être ensemble. Et j’ai découvert une réelle connaissance des auteurs qu’ils citaient, que ce soit Foucault, Derrida, Deleuze, Bachelard, Arendt entre autres. Les auteurs sont lus, ils sont situés les uns par rapport aux autres et leurs questions sont perçues comme vitales.

J’ai rencontré des étudiants extrêmement sérieux, travailleurs, modestes, habités par le goût de ce travail si particulier qu’est le travail de la pensée. Et j’ai à nouveau fait l’expérience de la transmission comme parole adressée à d’autres, parole qui est reçue à chaque fois sur des terreaux différents qui accueillent plus ou moins facilement ou volontiers ces mots qui tentent de faire entendre une voix. La voix de Levinas était claire, légère comme une flûte : elle résonne aujourd’hui et vibre en des intelligences qui n’en ont pas fini de s’expliquer avec le monde, avec eux-mêmes, avec autrui. C’est toujours un autre qui nous indique le chemin, qui nous fait le don des mots pour comprendre l’expérience d’être-là avec d’autres en ce monde.

Ces jours en ce lieu, Huafan University, ont été l’écoute de cette voix qui nous provoque à dire, à penser, à traduire en nos lieux singuliers qu’être homme va toujours avec l’autre homme et le souci de tous les hommes.

Un après-midi, le soleil a fait son apparition et a lentement dissous les nuages ; les sommets proches sont apparus, se découpant dans le lointain, dans une clarté si singulière et si belle, comme une pureté espérée depuis tant de jours. Il y avait là une expérience partagée de la beauté et de la surprise devant tant de simplicité.

Le monde, ici et maintenant, nous étonnait par sa fulgurance et cette fulgurance partagée nous reconduisait à notre texte : l’existence est sans fin partagée, dans ses déchirements et ses splendeurs. Autrui est celui avec qui je partage le monde et à qui je donne ce qui m’est le plus cher. Levinas, par le silence de sa voix maintenant éteinte et vibrant dans son texte, nous donnait de reconnaître ce don. Nos yeux l’ont ensuite lu avec une joie secrète et partagée.

 

Photo by J. Duraud

Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Josh Homme and the rise of manufactured mystique

I have watched two seemingly distinct phenomenon over the last 15 years with considerable interest: the growth of the internet from a niche tool of academics and geeks to a brobdignagian digital life form; and Josh Homme’s transition from cult desert guitarist to supergroup-worthy rock god.  As people around the world now begin to ponder the long-term influence of the internet on society, I believe that analysis of Josh Homme’s career and can help shed some light on this evolution, in particular with regard to the mystique of artists.

Fifteen years ago, I was a curious high school student, who, among other teenage pursuits, was discovering the world of rock and roll.  Having dipped my toes into grunge, g-funk and somewhat mystifyingly, grindcore, I was trying to find my way in the mid-90s alternative music market.  In 1995 I bought a heavy metal compilation that featured One Inch Man[i] by Kyuss, a short-lived rock band from Palm Springs California featuring the then 22 year-old Josh Homme on guitar.  I was instantly transfixed.  This bass heavy track rode a groove that got my head bobbing while at the same had heavy enough riffs to make me feel tough.  Vicarious toughness through music was important to me at that age.  As my funds permitted, I bought all four Kyuss albums and listened to them endlessly.  In fact, 15 years later I still listen to Kyuss quite frequently.  They were that good.

In an odd turn events, only one week after discovering Kyuss, I read in Hot Metal magazine that they had just recently broken up.  At this stage I was still about 18 months away from using the internet.  Information on Kyuss was almost non-existent.  I found a band profile in a second hand copy of Hot Metal from a few years prior but other than that, nothing.  Apart from albums in record stores, an underground band that died in 1995 had little chance of maintaining any sort of profile.  With that being the case, to me Kyuss was nothing more than a well-orchestrated collection of highly listenable sounds.

 

In late 1996 I graduated from high school, eager to enjoy a summer of parties and cricket.  As events transpired, the only guy I knew who had internet access was having a party and I was invited. Sambucca and Southern Comfort were drunk up on the roof, girls were kissed and garden furniture was broken. I even have hazy memories of watching the clip for Wannabe by the Spice Girls. Wiiiild times, let me tell you my friend.  Early in the night I managed to get in a session on the internet – something to me that up until that stage was nothing more than a nebulous idea that media pundits liked to talk about – either as some whiz-bang medium of the future or as a dangerous forum for disseminating The Terrorist Handbook.  None of these options took my fancy.  For me, the internet was there to find out about Kyuss.

I discovered a website lovingly put together by a Kyuss devotee and printed off some fan-made guitar tablature.  At this party I also saw Kyuss film clips for the first time.  The band was a strange looking bunch, swaggering around the California desert belting out psychedelic metal riffs.  In the Green Machine filmclip, Josh Homme cut a very unfashionable figure – shorts and boots worn together have never been very rock and roll[ii].

Three months later I was enrolled at university and the internet was suddenly at my finger tips.  None of my lecturers had worked out how to use the internet as an educational tool and most of the content on it was made by amateurs.  In spite of this, the internet was a revelation to me (like it is to most) and I spent many an hour using Hotbot to scour the neighbourhoods of Geocities, as one did on the Information Superhighway in 1997.

Over the next two years I eagerly checked Kyuss fan sites, hoping for news on upcoming projects.  Occasionally there was a tidbit – Homme and his mates were jamming in the desert, the singer had a new band, the bass player had opened a pet store in Palm Springs, the old drummer was playing with Fu Manchu and so on.  But these stories were rare, and there appeared to be no system for digitally disseminating them.  It was more or less gossip or info culled from Californian street press and then uploaded on to fan sites.  And there were only a handful of these sites on the whole World Wide Web where I needed to look to find out anything, most of which were not much more than digital versions of zines.

Following Kyuss riding off into the sun, Josh Homme re-emerged in 1997 with Queens of the Stoneage, dropping the first track on the silly genre-naming compilation Burn One Up: Music for Stoners.  For those in Australia and without the internet, this event would likely have largely gone unnoticed.  When their debut album appeared a year later the only clue that Queens and Kyuss had some sort of connection was the sticker on the CD case – “Featuring ex-members of Kyuss”.  At this stage there was very little promotional material about Homme’s new band, who were dragging themselves around Europe playing small clubs and festival side stages.

Queens of the Stoneage toiled in the musical underground over the next 5 years.  Another album, R[iii], was released in 2000 and despite getting some play on alternative radio stations in Australia, it seemed that most of the band’s followers were all Kyuss fans first, Queens fans second.  Queens were still yet to cross over into the mainstream.  This changed in 2002 when ex-Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl and ex-Screaming Trees vocalist Mark Lanegan came on board. Queens released Songs for the Deaf[iv] and then became alterna-rock royalty.  For the rest of the decade the band chugged along, releasing albums, enduring personnel problems, all the while maintaining a solid fan base through regular tours and a generally positive critical response.  This success made Homme a bonafide star and brought public attention to his previously underground side projects, such as the Desert Sessions and the Eagles of Death Metal.  While it would appear in the eyes of most critics and many casual listeners that Queens will never top Songs for the Deaf, the band has still managed to somehow straddle the line between commercial acclaim and critical success, all the while producing a distinctive sound.

Of course, over the duration of the 2000s, the internet swelled with more and more folks getting online.  As magazines and newspapers shifted their content into digital format and tried to work out how to keep making a buck, music blogs grew to become the arbiters of trends and memes.  And then there was the explosion in social media (mySpace, facebook, youtube, twitter et al) that, theoretically at least, allowed people across the world to access media with ease that most of them couldn’t conceive of 15 years earlier.  I certainly couldn’t have predicted this digital landscape when I first heard One Inch Man and wondered who Kyuss were and how they could make such transcendent music.

Now I can log onto youtube and watch Kyuss performing live in the Californian desert at one of their legendary ‘generator parties’[v].  Once upon a time I knew that these videos existed but not being familiar with the obscure world of tape trading (what tapes did I have to trade?) these gigs stayed a mystery to me.  As did the performance at the Bizarre Festival in 1995[vi] or the Italian TV gig from around the same time[vii].  For my friends and I, the unattainability of these shows created an aura of mystery.  We certainly weren’t at the shows and had no chance of watching them.  This let our imaginations run wild.  We already had the soundtrack – then we just had to dream of the desert, the drama and the drugs.

Now I can watch all these videos from the comfort of my sofa.  Beyond the initial investment of a laptop, modem and internet access, the world of Kyuss is at my fingertips.  My Taipei apartment couldn’t be further from the shifting sands of California’s Sky Valley but the internet has knocked down that time/space barrier.  That Kyuss’ history has been uploaded is fantastic and in some ways I wish it had happened 15 years ago when my curiosity was at its peak.  But then my appreciation of the band might not have become what it did.  My imagination had to fill in the gaps.

From the few interviews that I was able to read back in the day, I built up an image of Josh Homme.  He came across as chill, and didn’t seem to have the agro that is part and parcel of the metal world.  Then when Queens first started getting press, he claimed to want to create music that makes girls dance, a noble desire in the sweaty dude-filled moshpit that is the world of rock.

Now I can find out almost anything I want about the man.  From Homme’s collection of weird guitars[viii] to the somewhat infamous footage of him loosing his cool at a concert in 2008[ix].  Everything is there, pixellated and ready to download.  Fortunately Homme has maintained his sharp sense of humour and while he has developed something of a rock star attitude, he generally comes across as a likeable guy, someone you could sink a beer or two with.

What does this mean?  Without his ever-growing web presence I think it would be harder for Homme to maintain his career. The music audience has come to expect a steady stream of interviews, live footage and miscellanea to sustain interest in an artist.  Fan-made clips and shaky camera phone recordings augment the glut of professional digital media available, padding out an already large cyber presence.  But by no means has Homme saturated the market.  In the current climate of Lady Gaga, Justin Beiber and their ilk he still remains on the fringe, even with Them Crooked Vultures, his latest project where he has reunited with Dave Grohl and rounded out the band with John Paul Jones of Led Zeppelin.

TCV hit the ground the running and over a period of months went from nothing more than an intriguing concept flagged on a blog post to headlining venues and festivals around the globe.  Tantalising fans with a well-conceived drip feed of studio footage and live clips, TCV (and their management) cleverly used modern communication channels to drum up interest prior to their album’s release.  In a world where illegal downloads threaten the livelihoods of all those involved with recorded music such an approach is now necessary.

This manufactured mystique captured the public’s attention but ultimately left me feeling a bit hollow.  Yes, I watched a bunch of youtube clips and got the gist of what was going on.  But of all Homme’s many projects over the last 15 years (he is a truly prolific collaborator) this one left me the least intrigued.  The whole gestation of TCV had been manipulated to the extent that when the band finally entered my world, I didn’t really care.  There was no magic.  Despite the behind the scenes spontaneity that Homme, Jones and Grohl undoubtedly experienced, I felt like the whole product was being force fed to me.  Not that TCV is a bad band – their tunes seem to be more or less worthy given the group’s much heralded genetics – it’s just that they somehow seem to lack that magic that Homme’s earlier recordings have.

As it becomes easier to build up an extensive archive of an artist, where every recording and performance can be downloaded, where every interview and blog post can be scrutinized, artists have become more accessible than ever before.  Fans have almost instant access to the minutiae of their idols.  It is easier for established artists to step away from this trend.  Their fanbase is already established.  But struggling artists seeking to make a name for themselves need to harness the digital media machine to get their ‘product’ out there.  To do this and somehow maintain an aura of mystery seems to me to be a challenge.  With over-exposure it is easy to tire of an artist and move on to the next emerging sound, of which there will be always be a dozen emerging micro-genres to pick and choose from.

Who knows, Homme is an artist who fortunately shows no sign of burning out after two decades of recording.  There will no doubt be much more to come from him.  And sure enough, I’ll be at my keyboard, waiting for news of the next project he has up his sleeve.  I just hope that it blows in like a cloud of sand from the desert rather than appear on my twitter feed as a micro-managed meme.

(Photo by Craig Carper, source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/giarc80/3976623459/)


[i] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAXGu81Rk1g - ‘One Inch Man’ from And the Circus Leave Town (Kyuss, 1995)

[ii] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fc-7FXzbeA0 - ‘Green Machine’ from Blues for the Red Sun (Kyuss, 1992)

[iii] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAXPUN2z2CE - ‘Feelgood Hit of the Summer’ from R (Queens of the Stoneage, 2000)

[iv] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s88r_q7oufE - ‘No One Knows’ from Songs for the Deaf (Queens of the Stoneage, 2002)

[v] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPFhyd3fabs - generator party in the Californian desert (Kyuss, c.1993)

[vi] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pMfqZGg-FA ‘Gardenia’ from Welcome to Sky Valley, live in 1995 (Kyuss, 1994)

[vii] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-j4A2iGgQQk ‘Asteroid’ from Welcome to Sky Valley, live on Videomusic (Kyuss, 1994)

[viii] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vY_O3eo1m1Q ‘Josh Homme’s cathedral pipe guitar’

[ix] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfZm32tpWY8 - ‘Josh Homme (QOTSA) pissed off @ Norwegian Wood’

Monday, 07 June 2010

No one whacks a tabla like Waka

Born in Japan, Waka is now based in Taipei where he teaches and performs the tabla, a well known Indian drum.  He has spent much time in India learning the tabla and now travels throughout Taiwan and Asia performing with all types of musicians, from Indian classical to rock.

In this interview Waka talks about his journey and experiences as an exponent of the tabla.

Watch part II: Tabla, Tala and the Universe

http://tablawaka.blogspot.com/

 

 

 

Friday, 28 May 2010

大学生素质一代不如一代?

当台湾每年约有出生人口比例六成的人,进入全台164所大学院校就读;当「大学生」这个头衔,已「飞入寻常百姓家」,成为一般大众的基本配备时,讨论「大学生素质」这件事,其实已经不是论断社会中少数秀异分子程度如何的问题,而是检视一整个世代里,在教育体系适应较好的前半群人,他们的受教成果。

Friday, 28 May 2010

大學生素質一代不如一代?

當台灣每年約有出生人口比例六成的人,進入全台164所大學院校就讀;當「大學生」這個頭銜,已「飛入尋常百姓家」,成為一般大眾的基本配備時,討論「大學生素質」這件事,其實已經不是論斷社會中少數秀異分子程度如何的問題,而是檢視一整個世代裡,在教育體系適應較好的前半群人,他們的受教成果。

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

Tabla, Tala and the Universe (Part 2)

Born in Japan, Waka is now based in Taipei where he teaches and performs the tabla, a well known Indian drum.  He has spent much time in India learning the tabla and now travels throughout Taiwan and Asia performing with all types of musicians, from Indian classical to rock.

In this fascinating interview Waka introduces the tabla and proceeds to elaborate on the philosophy of classical Indian music.

Thursday, 06 May 2010

Simplicity

[dropcap cap="T"]here might be nothing more difficult today than living a simple life… We live in complex, intricate and perpetually evolving social and technological systems, and we are supposed to understand them, to adapt to them and to conform to the various requirements that they impress upon us. For sure, new technological systems and the social networks they generate are supposed to be user-friendly, even 'fun.' Indeed, our capacity to adapt to them largely comes from our taste for all things new, from the thrill associated with innovation. However, the 'fun' of innovation often degenerates into new constraints, accrued expenses and increased complexity. The management of complexity has become an essential feature of our life, probably diminishing the time available for free and creative thinking.
As just noted, accrued financial constraints go with increased technological complexity. Simplicity of life becomes a dream, a mirage, and we do know that the burden of our needs and expenses alienates us from our nature and from the most basic pleasures of existence. The new entertainments that technology generates make us much less available for the simple joys of walking, listening to streams and to birds, spending time with friends or just doing nothing…[/dropcap]

The point here is not to entertain the nostalgia the past, to come back to a mode of life that, for most of us, has become unattainable. But “simplicity” can and must remain a kind of regulatory principle. When we are confronted with technological, cultural or economic choices, we are entitled to ask ourselves “will such a purchase, such a decision introduce more or less complexity into my existence?”… and to act accordingly. Simplicity might be less a state of things than a driving force. We can still be aiming at simplicity, thus trying to unify our life according to a few guiding principles.

Aiming at simplicity means that we do not want to be dispossessed of our life and our choices, and that we wish to remain the masters of our existence. Simplicity is to be found first and foremost in our head and our heart. Each time we see clearly that such or such a need is not vital for us, that we are still able to reform our life, to let it go, to resist the tyranny of the objects in our life, we are becoming more 'simple', more unified in heart and mind. Ultimately, 'simplicity' and 'freedom' are the two faces of the same coin. Making these values the cornerstone of our existence might require some sacrifices, but they are certainly worthwhile.


[blockquote]

Ultimately, 'simplicity' and 'freedom' are the two faces of the same coin.

[/blockquote]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

義氣背後的苦悶吶喊

電影《艋舺》開出票房佳績,然而人紅是非多,不少成人開始發現,青少年學子看完《艋舺》之後,模仿影片人物的言談舉止,甚至發生青少年打群架事件後,拿《艋舺》電影裡的義氣相挺作為藉口。

於是,不少學校老師與家長開始抱怨起《艋舺》,說《艋舺》讓他們不知道該怎麼教育孩子,帶壞了孩子。

套句香港知名作家蔡瀾常說的話,如果一部作品就能帶壞孩子,恐怕我們的教育也太失敗了?

只要願意靜下心來好好思考,不難理解與其說是《艋舺》帶壞孩子,不如說是《艋舺》反映了現代青少年沒有人懂的苦悶心情。孩子在《艋舺》找到自己的身影,電影引起青少年的共鳴,才會迅速在青少年中流傳開來,甚至造成成人與青少年對同一部電影的兩極化評價。

而我認為,電影中流傳最廣的一句台詞,「我不知道意義是三小,我只知道義氣」,相當精闢地點出了台灣當前的青少年問題與教育困境。

如果說,我們承認「意義」是孩子原本應由社會化過程,從成人那裡學習、繼承的道德價值觀與思想信念;那麼,「義氣」就是孩子認為和同儕相處最重要的原則、道理。

也就是說,不知道「意義是三小」指的是青少年無法認同/接受成人企圖傳授、灌輸的東西;只知道「義氣」則代表青少年對成人/社會失望之餘,轉向同儕尋求認同,拒絕成人進入、接觸自己的生命。


忽略青少年的根本需求

查普曼.克拉克(Chapman Clark)教授在《我們的孩子都受了傷》(HURT: inside the world of today’s teenagers)一書中說到,現代父母為了工作等因素,花在自己身上的時間比花在孩子的教育上多。父母拿金錢打發/彌補孩子,給孩子看電視而不是陪她們聊天,要求孩子有好成績卻不陪伴孩子學習(家長把教育的責任丟給學校/老師,孩子出事就指責學校沒教好),整個社會的家庭教育就是不斷把孩子往外面推,成人社會自以為是地以自己認為對孩子好的方式教育孩子,忽略了孩子根本的需求,今天的青少年普遍被成人社會遺棄,只好轉向同儕或地下社會尋求溫暖。

「我不知道意義是三小,我只知道義氣」,是導演替青少年向成人社會發出呼救的聲音,遺憾的是,成人社會並沒有發現這句話想傳遞的真正訊息。不懂「意義」,是青少年對成人的失望,只在乎義氣是被迫轉向同儕尋求認同與溫暖的無奈,渴 望被瞭解、被關心的深層吶喊。

替青少年向成人反應內心愁苦的青春電影,卻反過頭來被大人指責成帶壞孩子的兇手,反映了台灣社會普遍缺乏解讀「文本」的能力,也反應了台灣社會的現狀:出事時,總會有人(像是學校/老師、別人家的小孩、黑幫)成為代罪羔羊。


攝影/Vincent Wang(http://www.flickr.com/photos/vector_tf/2932444664/

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Wednesday, 24 March 2010

What’s forgotten

Walking alone through a Taipei park, I came across what looked to be a writer’s notebook wedged in the crotch of this tree. I could only guess it had slipped out of the poet’s pocket without him noticing and someone picked it up from the path and stuck it in the tree so it wouldn’t get trampled and ruined. Would the writer remember to come back to this place to look? I didn’t even think to steal a look at someone’s private words but took this photo and e-mailed it to an American poet I knew in Taipei who used the same kind of notebook. He wrote back it wasn’t one of his. I left for Taichung the following day.

Friday, 01 January 2010

逆風少年向前行

手上拿著乘風少年學園提供的中輟生個案資料,上頭寫著:「瓜瓜,十九歲,爸爸已過世,寄人籬下住在伯父家,最大的樂趣就是出陣頭,中性打扮的她最重義氣,但情緒管理卻很差,常常讓人摸不著頭緒,感覺隨時會火山爆發。」

愛出陣頭?這的確是個與眾不同的興趣,與瓜瓜同年的孩子,應該比較喜歡泡網咖吧!這讓我的腦海立刻浮現星光二班賴銘偉擺八家將的模樣,但是她脾氣火爆,又讓我聯想到韓星張赫在電影《火山高校》的使壞模樣,到底瓜瓜是個什麼樣的孩子?

答案揭曉:中性打扮的她,活潑開朗,講話有著大姐頭的霸氣味道!

但是在她開朗的笑容下,其實有著不為人知的坎坷身世。「我滿月時,媽媽就改嫁,爸爸被人陷害,被推下山谷死亡。我從小住在大伯家,被奶奶帶大,一直到國小四年級,才知道自己的身世。」喊了十年的爸爸、媽媽,才知道自己不是親生,這對小小年紀的瓜瓜打擊很大。

 

坎坷身世,用叛逆宣洩情緒

或許是對身世不滿,瓜瓜從此變得叛逆,經常不上學、也不回家。她的脾氣變得很差,在學校,只要看別人不爽就嗆聲,再加上重義氣,喜歡幫朋友出頭,所以常與人結怨。有一次還被人綁到山上毆打,要不是大伯及時趕到,她早就沒命。

那時候,瓜瓜住在三芝,連當地警察都對她十分頭痛,因為她常常半夜還在街頭遊蕩,「我的朋友那麼多,常常落20幾個人,坐在大馬路上喝酒狂歡。」家裡的人找不到瓜瓜,還動用里長的廣播叫瓜瓜回家,但瓜瓜還是皮得很,只有在她口袋沒錢的時候才會出現,但一拿到錢,人立刻不見!


沉迷陣頭,虛耗三年青春

國三的時候,瓜瓜輟學跑到淡水跟朋友住,因為實在需要生活費,便在朋友介紹下,加入淡水少年隊的陣頭,只要有廟會活動就跟著出陣。獅陣、龍陣、車馬陣,瓜瓜全都參與過。不知不覺,跟著少年隊出陣頭的日子已經三年,雖然很風光,但瓜瓜的心裡也不免迷惘:「難道我的人生就是這樣?」

廟會多的時候,瓜瓜一個月可以跑十幾場,但出陣頭賺來的錢,瓜瓜總是呼朋引伴吃飯唱歌,半個月不到就花光!記得阿嬤病倒那天,瓜瓜又回家要錢,看到阿嬤躺在床上說不出話,無奈又失望的眼神,讓瓜瓜突然覺得好心酸。

「就是那一刻,讓我覺得自己不能再這樣下去了!」因為對瓜瓜來說,阿嬤是她生命中最重要的人,從小疼她、寵她,辛辛苦苦把她帶大。於是瓜瓜決定脫離出陣頭的生活,回家跟著伯母到市場幫忙賣饅頭。因為她勤快又會叫賣,一天可以幫忙賣上千個饅頭,之後她又到大伯的皮鞋店幫忙當店員。可惜不管做什麼事瓜瓜總是三分鐘熱度,不到三天就落跑。

直到透過北區少年服務中心的轉介,報名由勞委會職訓局主辦的「弱勢青少年職涯準備計畫」,讓瓜瓜來到乘風少年學園,才展開她的新人生。


職涯體驗,找到穩定新工作

參加職涯計畫的瓜瓜,最大目的就是希望不用再靠家人經濟協助,可以自立自強。然而脾氣火爆、得失心甚重的她,常常在課程活動中對同儕、講師不滿,甚至只因嚥不下一口氣,數次與人發生肢體衝突。

還好社工耐心陪伴,在瓜瓜情緒不穩定時給予同理支持,並時常和瓜瓜討論情緒管理及抒發方式,才讓瓜瓜逐漸改變意氣用事的態度和習慣;而透過職業探索課程,也讓瓜瓜能將自己過去從事服務業的經驗與其他同儕分享,藉此展現自己的專長與個人特色,並讓瓜瓜更加確定未來要以服務業為自己的人生志向。

於是,在課程結束後,瓜瓜決定應徵一份有關有機蔬菜的包裝及協助出產的工作,因為求職過程一直有社工從旁協助,也讓瓜瓜對工作更加有信心。等到正式上工那天,社工還特地打電話去詢問是否有準時出席,之後更時常不定期到職場訪視瞭解瓜瓜與主管、同事互動狀況。

猶然記得初次訪視時,瓜瓜對自己的工作環境表達滿意,還告訴社工,主管、同事多半用阿姨、媽媽的角色帶領她,讓她備受溫暖,同事們更稱讚瓜瓜講話得體、個性也很融合,這些都讓社工大吃一驚,原來瓜瓜過去尖銳的邊角已經慢慢被磨得圓順,猜想也許這樣的工作環境,無形中也彌補瓜瓜心中缺乏家庭裡愛與關懷的感覺吧!

就這樣工作體驗滿三個月後,由於瓜瓜的認真工作態度讓店家決定聘用為正式員工。

對瓜瓜來說生命旅程也許曲折、崎嶇,但只要有機會仍可以在絕壁中開出美麗的花朵!

 

圖片提供/台灣少年權益與福利促進聯盟


JiangHuiFenWuMinHui_youthpower

台灣目前有4700多名國中中輟生,5000多名未升學的國中畢業生。其中多數人因學習成就不高或家庭遭逢困境,以致沒有亮麗學歷又缺乏一技之長,在社會邊緣徘徊流浪。

長期關注青少年權益的「台灣少年權益與福利促進聯盟」與其他社福團體合作,展開「弱勢青少年就業力培訓計畫」,希望為這群逆風少年裝上追求夢想的翅膀,幫助他們在職場上暢快流汗,不再在人生旅途上流浪! 這項計畫也期望更多愛心雇主加入,共同為待業弱勢青少年提供工作體驗的機會!

 

「逆風少年大步走」活動
官網:http://www.youthempower.org.tw
部落格:http://familycsr.pixnet.net/blog

Tuesday, 29 December 2009

學習如何當一個魯凱人

七月盛夏,霧台的魯凱族青年紛紛回到部落,聽族內長者述說他們的傳統智慧與文化,進而學習如何當一個魯凱人。這段影片是關於他們學習的小小記錄。

 

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Sunday, 27 December 2009

Cosplay,華麗扮裝!

粉紅色假髮,灰綠色眼睛,巨型蝴蝶領巾,女子手持歐洲十九世紀軍刀;又或者,男子身著正紅色寬袖長袍,一頭銀白長髮,上頭露出兩隻聳立的狗耳。這些奇裝異服的人不知所為何來,他們聚集在一塊兒,互相品頭論足,彷彿這些打扮本身就是用以溝通的符號。

你可能已經在電視新聞或報章雜誌上聽過cosplay一詞,也知道這詞出現時你會看見不同尋常的妖豔華麗裝扮,但或許還是心中疑惑,究竟那些厚重妝容底下隱藏的面容究竟是哪些人?他們在想什麼?這種行為意義何在?

cosplay是所謂的「和製英語」,由日本人發明,台灣人沿用。它是由costume(戲服)和play(扮演)結合而成。進行cosplay的人,通稱為cosplayer,你可以簡稱他們為「coser」。cosplay一詞的歷史並不長,1984年被日本人在洛杉磯世界科幻年會上提出之後,才正式成為這個現象的「公定名稱」。如今世界各地,包括歐美台日在內,都有大型的cosplay活動。

在台灣,有些人將cosplay翻譯為「角色扮演」,但某些cosplayer並不喜歡被稱為角色扮演者,這讓他們想到RPG遊戲(Role-playing Game)。Cosplay與RPG的差別最主要可能在於RPG背後必定有個遊戲情節跟角色能力值設定,但cosplay不僅跟遊戲無關,且看似「無所為而為」。「沒有目的」似乎正是cosplay行動最令圈外人困擾的一點。


迷思纏繞的cosplay

cosplayer常自稱為「次文化中的次文化」,「小眾中的小眾」。的確,在社會大眾的觀感中,或者主流媒體的描述裡,電玩、動漫、輕小說、布袋戲的愛好族群已經是「小眾」,遑論砸大錢、下重本,將對這些文本的迷戀直接穿上身的狂熱分子。這種狂熱乍看之下的確異乎尋常,也難怪他們往往都被以獵奇的形式報導。

儘管如此,我們還是很難直接定義cosplay「是」什麼,往往只能先定義它「不是」什麼。首先,儘管cosplay活動常跟同人誌發表會(如著名的FF開拓動漫祭、CWT台灣同人誌販售會)一起舉行,但cosplay不等於同人誌。而cosplay展場與同人誌販售會一起舉辦,恐怕只是因為兩者性質上都是同人活動,吸引的族群有重疊之處而已。

台灣cosplay的風潮起源於1990年代以後,時間如此之短,我們當然不太會看到資歷超過十年的coser。其次,雖然有許多國高中生玩cosplay,但由於cosplay其實是種傷本的嗜好,有點財力的成年人反而才是cosplay最盡興的族群。

然而台灣,多數人常對漫畫迷與coser年齡層低估,這樣的看法事實上是反映一種污名的心態:亦即這種興趣的本質是幼稚的。影響所及,漫畫迷與coser對於年紀大這件事好像有點羞於啟齒。不過這顯然是種略帶偏見的迷思,很多娛樂都可以從小做到大,譬如登山、踏青、玩撲克牌、下棋,既然如此,何以唯獨看漫畫跟玩cosplay不行?


像不像,有關係

ZhangYinHui__Cosplay01cosplay的本質有三:華服、美妝、精飾。這三者的存在都是為了傳達被cosplay的角色神韻。一般而言,coser會依照自己喜好的文本(此處的文本可以是輕小說、動漫、影集、布袋戲等等,範圍極廣,不一而足)及「適合自己氣質」的角色,挑選想要扮演的對象。

所謂適合自己氣質,有時候當然就是在說外在條件,譬如個子高挑的女性不妨扮成英姿勃發的美少年;男性要扮成嬌弱女角可能困難一點,不過如果不介意被批評為「一點都不得角色精髓」的話當然還是可以勇敢嘗試。

另外一個適合自己氣質的意思,是比較精神層面的。當一位coser試圖扮演某個角色,通常是對這個角色「充滿了愛」。換句話說,或多或少有著對該角色性格或特質的仰慕存在。因此coser希望透過cosplay,更接近自己心目中的偶像一些。

此外,既然cosplay演變成聚集到大型活動場合中「拋頭露面」,就意味著有可能受到同儕的批評指教,像不像自然關係著此一行動的成敗。我們可以想像以下場面:熱鬧的動漫祭,在台大小巨蛋體育館外,兩位coser一個扮成動漫《火影忍者》的主角鳴人,一個扮成《薔薇少女》的水銀燈,他們四目相接,在那電光石火的瞬間,兩人心中浮現出這樣的對話:

「這鳴人的假髮形狀跟顏色都不對。太糟了。」

「喔!水銀燈的衣服做工好細,頭帶是自己縫的嗎!?」

鳴人此時為自己的假髮不夠好而沮喪(他住的城市總是買不到適合的假髮),而水銀燈則很得意自己找到了值得信賴的手工服飾店舖,但相同的是這兩位coser的荷包都變得很空虛。


巧手化想像為現實

上述現象也反映出cosplay是極度傷本的嗜好。最主要的是因為cos的三大本質華服、美妝、精飾全都所費不貲。若想要在聚會時讓同儕耳目一新,服裝、鞋子乃至配件往往都需要特別訂製。因此優良手工服店家的資訊變得很重要,cosplay社群中不可少的便是這類店家資訊分享。

上面提到的鳴人穿著橘色的特殊忍者服與鞋子,頭上要有縫著金屬片的頭帶,頭髮必須是刺刺的金色短髮;扮演水銀燈,黑色的歌德羅莉洋裝一定要量身訂做,頭上要有同色的蕾絲髮帶,銀白色的假髮得先戴好,然後用角膜變色片讓眼睛看起來是赭紅色的。這些全都要錢,這兩個角色尚且還沒有拿道具!

cosplay的經歷(簡稱cos歷)通常是用服裝套數來計算的。一套算是初學者,五套以上就是資深coser了。當然,沒有錢的時候也只能因陋就簡,某些看起來沒什麼質感的cosplay裝扮,可能是出自於經濟拮据。而此時,也正是coser發揮創意的時候。事實上,那些看些炫麗的戲服,許多都是coser去道具服出租店尋找看起來有點像的衣服,然後自己動腦筋加上配件後的創作。更為著迷者,則會親自學習裁縫技巧,將心中的想像化為現實。

這就是何以coser鍛鍊到最後,或許有機會成為巧奪天工的表演藝術家跟服裝設計師。我聽說過最有創意的省錢點子,是去買兩顆各五十元的低價圓形粉晶,一顆拿來砸碎,一顆捧在手上——高橋留美子漫畫名作《犬夜叉》中人人爭奪的「四魂之玉」就這麼完成了!



攝影/余白(Hubert Kilian)


本文為節錄,完整內容請見2010年1月號《人籟》論辨月刊-上癮

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對cosplay有更進一步的認識,請購買本期雜誌!

您可以選擇紙本版PDF版

海外讀者如欲選購,請在此查詢(紙本版PDF版 訂閱全年份


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