Herr Johann Strauss II

by on Saturday, 29 August 2009 Comments
It was indeed too sultry today that I could hardly nod to Herrn Beethoven’s Fate. Moments before I rejected my beloved Herrn Beethoven, I had a talk with Herrn Johann Sebastian Bach. I sensed that he intended to build the entire Brandenburg on my account. Such expenditure naturally led to a less satisfactory farewell between us. My favorite Herr Mozart used to be a close friend to me. Today he insisted, however, to talk about Jupiter all along. "Naja… Jupiter ist heute aber kein gutes Themen,” I said, “Mon cher, Amedeus, I think you may kindly pay me a visit some other day. C’est bon?"

Unanticipated as it was, that "c’est bon" offended the proud Russian gentleman Monsieur Tchaikovsky, who were elegantly leaning against the door. He furiously yet so smooth-handedly bent the Marseillaise and blew right away his horn of 1812. Now it was obviously too late to engage my dear Amadeus’ much softer Horn; thus I had to solemnly, and calmly, ask Monsieur Tchaikovsky to leave with his cannons.

Then stepped Herr Johann Strauß II into my drawing room.

I had a long nice chat with Herrn Johann Strauß II. As the night descended, he— being an attentive, thoughtful Vienna gentleman— poured the entire Blue Danube down from the top over my head.

"Herr Johann Strauß II," though totally wet as one could well imagine, I felt compelled to keep up with the elegance of the Hapsburg. "Do you… agree with me that it is indeeeeed a very nice and cool concert at the Danube. Qu’en pensez-vous?"

Herr Johann Strauß II refused to comment on my poor, poseur French and lowered his eyes staring at his own wonderful waltz scores. I realized that all the Vienna gentlemen must be as modest as this one thus tried to pick on another topic.

"Herr Johann Strauß II," I said, "do you recall that newly entered parliament member Herrn Lüger? Now, do tell me, how are we to feel comfortable that there is actually someone in the parliament who has such a surname? Comme ci…"

Herr Johann Strauß II interrupted me with caution and politeness, "Mademoiselle, wir in Wien… oh, it is in music, drama, and arts of all kinds that we are interested in Vienna. Politics… is a matter of no commonly shared concern. Nonetheless— allow me to remind you, mademoiselle— this new member of our parliament is not of ordinary family. He is addressed as Herr von Lüger…" That said, he poured down to my head even more from the Blue Danube.

"A bon…" as poseur as one could be, I endured all the sweet coldness of river water and night dews, fanning myself into even sweeter coldness, and said, "According to you, Herr Johann Strauß II, it is only due to my baaaaad accent as a non-Viennese that I inappropriately remark on politics in Vienna. Since their family kommt von Lügern, it must be their ancestral misfortune to play a part in politics!"

Herr Johann Strauß II nodded slightly, "Indeed, now it has gotten much, much better..." and poured actually more water from the Blue Danube down to my head.

It was midnight that I could no longer endure to fan myself warm. Thus I stood up with all my firm determination and slapped my fan right onto this Vienna gentleman mon cher Herr Johann Strauß II’s head:

MERDE!

After all, even with Herrn Johann Strauß II, there was no honorable farewell today.

 

(photo by Cerise Phiv)

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