Five easy ways to turn your friend into your enemy...

by on Friday, 14 September 2007 Comments
A friend is someone you can always count on to support you in time of trouble. A friend is someone with whom you are not afraid to share your darkest secrets. A friend is someone you would not hesitate to sacrifice your self for to protect from harm. A friend is someone you enjoy being with because you think alike and have fun together. A friend is someone you can always count on to come to your aid when you’re in a pinch. A friend is someone you are not afraid to share your money or your goods with because you know they will be used carefully and returned in due time. A friend is someone who will always come running when you need him or her. A friend is a companion you enjoy being with. A friend is someone who is not afraid to tell you to your face what you are doing wrong.

Sometimes the most unlikely people become friends. Their backgrounds are different, their interests are not the same, but they seem to like and trust each other and complement one another. Sometimes acquaintances become friends by association: they don’t know anyone else, there is no one else to play with, one of them needs protection and the other needs someone to protect, or circumstances just pulled them together and no new circumstance has happened yet to pull them apart. A friendship built only on gratitude or personal need or one that is not equally reciprocated is on shaky ground.

Not all our acquaintances are friends. Some people we just don’t like, others we just can’t get along with, some disgust or repel us, some there is no reason or opportunity to associate with. Not everyone we don’t like or try to avoid is an enemy. We generally reserve that term for those who wish us harm or are standing in the way of our goals deliberately obstructing us.

An enemy is someone who hates you or wants you dead or transpires to defraud you of what is rightfully yours. An enemy is someone you hate or fear because you believe he or she is a threat to your life or livelihood. An enemy is someone who refuses to come to your aid in time or need. An enemy is anyone who is the enemy of a dear friend. An enemy is someone who insulted you or embarrassed you in front of others. An enemy is anyone you want to overcome or destroy.

It sometimes happens that circumstances change, events intervene that turn friends into enemies or former enemies into friends. There are several sure ways of alienating and losing a friend. Fall in love and run away with your friend’s fiancée before the wedding or seduce her to run away with you after the wedding. Divulge your friend’s deepest secret to his or her enemy or someone sure to be offended by it or get him in trouble. Help your friend to reach the top and then take it for yourself tossing him or her out on his or her ear. Refuse to help when urgently needed. Betray him to his enemy or creditor. Appropriate for yourself what he or she depends upon. Throw in the towel with his or her worst enemy.

The first step of turning an enemy into a friend is to begin treating him or her as a friend. Then the rest is up to him or her to reciprocate.

Some people have trouble making friends. Some people have trouble keeping their friends. Some friends stay close through thick and thin. Some friends stick through the thick and run from the thin.

Having a dear good friend is a blessing that we must cherish and preserve.

Photo: C.P.

 

Robert Ronald

Bob was among the most prolific writers of eRenlai. He passed away peacefully on January 2 2009 in Taipei. A tribute to his life and his work can be found here on eRenlai: http://www.erenlai.com/index.php/en/focus/2011-focus/bob-ronald-challenged-but-not-disabled

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